In 1997, a man in Kleberg County convinced his county commissioners to officially adopt HeavenO as the area’s official greeting. The man — Leonso Canales — believes that “Hello” is evil because it contains the letters H-E-L-L. He even has a website devoted to the cause.

This amused to no end. When I saw the Tweet, I Googled Kleberg County and gave the county courthouse a call. The first number went to voice mail, and I received a “Hi” in greeting. The second time, someone picked up with a “Good Morning,” and I was too shy to ask if they still used “Heaven-O.” Independently, Molly did the same thing, and we both sent replies to Kelly via Twitter at the same time.

Enter Dave, also over Twitter. He offered to call and actually talk to someone about this. His version of events, paraphrased:

Nice Lady: “Good afternoon, Kingsville County?”

Nefarious Dave Metz: (Very carefully choosing his salutation) “Hi, I was calling…my friend sent me this link online and I thought it was just wonderful about how you all are saying ‘heaven-o’ instead of ‘hello’…and, well, I just thought that was really great and I was wondering if you’re still doing that…”

NL: “Gosh, that was awhile back…!”

NDM: “Yeah, I know! ’97 it looks like!”

NL: (chuckling) “Haha, yeah, not as much anymore. A few people still use it, but for the most part it died out. I guess it was just a craze.”

NDM: “Well how about ‘hello’, have people stopped saying it?”

NL: “Well, I’ve only been here since 2003, but back then there was a lot of hype…lots of people were saying ‘heaven-o’ and it was really popular. Now it’s just back to normal. People say whatever.”

NDM: “Aw, that’s too bad, well, I was just calling because I thought that was really swell, but, have a great day.”

NL: “B-bye now.”

==

While Dave was busy on the phone, Molly decided to e-mail Mr. Canales about the origins of his movement. We wanted to know if HeavenO, with its late-1990s web design, was still an active movement. He replied:

Heaveno Molly,
 
The new greeting did start in 1997. Heaveno is the official greeting for Kleberg County.This awareness was not only intended for this county, but for our nation. The Hello greeting, I felt…, did not represented us with the right sincere meaning. Heaveno came up as an alternative. Hi, Welcome, Howdy are, to me, are alright. Those salutations have no negative connotation. The O in HellO is not enough to hide HELL. You have to be blind or ignorant not to see Hell in HELLo.  Sooooo, Ms.Molly, that’s the story.
 
Peace be with You, From Kingsville, Texas, I Thank You!  Leonso Canales,Jr.

That is the story indeed.

Right now, I’m getting that lovely DNS error above when I try to access a few certain sites on the Internet.

As Tommy said, “At least it’s not the most heavily trafficked site on the net or anything, you know, cause if it were, that would be inconvenient.”

Google’s Street View feature is a generally helpful tool. You can use it to get a visual on a new neighborhood; see what’s on the ground outside an unfamiliar subway station; or catch a crime in progress.

Unfortunately, Google doesn’t have much of a sense of humor about Street View so when weird sights and crimes pop up, the search engine giant is quick to remove the questionable material. But what about blocked views?

Last week, my sister and I were getting together for lunch, and she Google Mapped the restaurant. When she plugged in the address, she found out that we were going to be dining inside an articulated New York City bus. I don’t think that’s quite what these folks would like to know about their restaurant.

Ben: i just got a spam filter notification at my work e-mail address with the subject line “Update your Penis”
Ben: best spam subject line ever
Ben: i should have upgraded to penis 2.1 ages ago. what have i been waiting for
SR: lol
SR: new patch available
Ben: 2.1.1?
SR: security update
Ben: does it have a code name? like Leopard? Penis X
SR: lol
SR: ok thats too funny
SR: i’m still laughing
Ben: me too
Ben: i crack myself up.
SR: hehehe
Ben: perhaps this penis upgrade is still in beta
Ben: that’s a risky proposition
SR: yeah you don’t want to be a beta-tester of that upgrade
SR: don’t want the system to crash

And an old headline tip-o’-the-hat to a classic Celebrity Jeopardy.